This post is a little different from my norm but oh so applicable given the current situation. On any given “normal” day loneliness is a common battle. Loneliness causes people to feel empty, alone, and unwanted. Lonely people crave human contact, but their state of mind makes it more difficult to form connections with other people.
Loneliness is not necessarily about being alone. Instead, it’s actually a feeling that plays into your state of mind. It can pose a wide range of negative effects both physically and mentally, so let’s look at ways to curb the feeling.
One Way to Shut it Down…
Try this. On a good day, write down your friends’ names….. your REAL friends. These don’t have to be people you talk to or see often, just people you value and love. And, it doesn’t have to be a long list either. Experts believe that it is not the quantity of social interaction that combats loneliness, but it’s the quality. Once you start making your list you’ll think of more & more people that you can add to it….cousins you’ve grown apart from, kind neighbors, childhood friends, etc. It’s important to know that as we get older, become family centered, & busy with work, we may talk less with these people. However, they are still our friends!
When a bad day strikes, I pull out my list and take a walk. I go down the list calling them as I’m out walking. Because of all the busyness mentioned above, I might not actually get someone on the phone during my first couple of tries. But, I’m usually able to catch someone! When I do, I tell them how much I miss and appreciate them….and of course whatever is pulling me down at that moment. I’m always surprised at how grateful they are that I called, & they usually have the same sentiments echoed back at me. That’s because we are not alone in our loneliness. After my “walk & talk” I always feel so much better, and it seems like that friendship is solidified even more.
(I have to take a little aside here. When you are actually excited to talk to someone, verses texting them, you know that that person is special. It’s wonderful to become that comfortable in this age of texting only. If texting is your norm, I really encourage you to go old school here and call.)
It’s easy to lose sight of all the positives we have going on in our lives when negative emotions take over. I hate to admit it, but sometimes I forget that these people care about me. So, I keep my list in the back of my daily planner. When I’m feeling isolated, sometimes all it takes is a quick peek at the list to remember that I’m not alone.
The Strange Life of an Educator….
It sounds a little absurd that teachers would feel lonely because we are super busy and surrounded by people, but that’s a big part of this problem. Busy people have less time to connect with others in meaningful ways, and the vast majority of the people we are surrounded by are not our peers.
Unless you are super lucky, school sites are often stressful places where negativity can easily seep into staff relationships. One way to hold onto your passion for the profession is to seek out other positive and passionate educators. You can probably find a few at your site, but I found a bunch at various teacher meet-ups and in Facebook groups. Look for appealing & fun professional development opportunities. Ask around.
In an online teaching forum, I asked if any local teachers would like to get together at a coffee shop. That was in 2015, and most the people who showed up have been meeting quarterly ever since. It’s so refreshing to “hang out” with teachers from different schools and districts. Once you get out of your bubble, it becomes clear that while some of our professional problems are universal, other negative experiences you might be going through could be different in different circumstances. It’s #solidarity all the way around.
Whenever you feel loneliness creeping in, I encourage you to try something new. Write your list. Reach out. Sign up for a meet-up. You can do this alone, but it’s so much better when you don’t have to.
If you haven’t had a chance to check out my educational resources for k-6th grade, pop on over to my store HERE. I’ve recently added a bunch of fun, new, digital distance learning resources to keep kids engaged while learning from home.
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Happy teaching!