Are you looking for better strategies for classroom behavior management? Have you found yourself thinking: “What do I do for that student that continually chooses to misbehave? I have tried everything, but nothing has worked. I feel like I argue and nag all day and I know there must be a better way.”
Here are 5 tips for curbing extreme student behavior: when NOTHING else seems to work:
1. Is the student baiting you into reacting?
As a teacher, it’s important to remember that the kids who need love the most may not always ask for it in the most loving ways. But don’t let that discourage you! Instead, use this insight to stir up the patience you need to manage misbehavior in a constructive way that not only stops the behavior but proactively prevents it from happening again by addressing underlying needs.
You catch more flies with honey – often applies. By aiming to be a calm, empathetic, and unshakeable role model for your students, you’ll get better results than by instilling fear or relying on punishment. Fear may work in the short term, but it won’t produce the long-term results you want.
“You can’t teach kids 2 behave better by making them feel worse. Feeling better = behaving better.”
So, don’t default to tough love as your reaction. Instead, strive to be the mature adult when things get tense and emotionally charged. Don’t let students bait you into reacting.
2. Don’t Take it Personally
Difficult students seem to be in almost every classroom, and it’s easy to feel like the problem lies with us. But don’t take it personally! Unless the student only misbehaves in your class, it’s unlikely that you’re the root cause of their issues. You can influence their behavior, but ultimately, you can’t control it.
So, remind yourself: you are only responsible for your own choices. You can’t blame yourself for the root of the student’s problems, and you shouldn’t waste your energy trying to control them. Instead, focus on your own actions and reactions and be the kind of teacher you want to be.
When dealing with extreme behavioral or socio-emotional issues, it’s easy to become a different person, one you don’t want to be. You might find yourself yelling, shaming, or punishing out of desperation and frustration. But don’t let the student turn you into someone you’re not. You’re responsible for your own choices, and you have the power to choose love even when faced with unloving behavior.
By making a conscious choice to act from a place of love, you can transform your classroom into a positive and nurturing space. So, don’t let difficult students bring you down. Instead, focus on your own actions and reactions and strive to be the best teacher you can be. With the right strategies for behavior management, you can create a supportive environment where every student can thrive.
3. Strategies for Behavior Management – Patience Grasshopper
Because every minute spent dealing with a tense behavioral situations feels like an eternity, and every minute of implementing some intervention felt like a week, we often don’t realize that we need to give these strategies more TIME to work. Don’t lose perspective and decide this kid was incapable of growth and improvement after just 6 weeks of trying. Stay consistent, calm, and give the strategies you’re trying some time to work.
We would all LOVE to just nip behavior issues in the bud, but a lifetime of issues in a child isn’t going to be fixed overnight. You can’t implement a new behavior plan on Monday and decide it didn’t work when the kid is behaving the same way on Friday. Who knows what happened to the child at home that particular week that threw the results off. And who knows what will happen if you stick with the plan, and keep doggedly going back in the classroom each day determined to be patient and loving toward that child. Kids with extreme behaviors tend to have a lot of inconsistency in their lives, and finding out they had a new behavior plan every week is generally not very helpful for them. What these kids often need is someone who is willing to stick with them and not get frustrated.
4. There isn’t a “one size fits all” solution
The #1 key is to foster a positive relationship with your “troublemaker,” and you can work from there. I always tell my students that they are my like my children, I love them, and I will do all I can to help them succeed. I say this often & can feel a shift in energy from the whole group! Here are are few more strategies to try when faced with an exceptionally challenging student:
The 2 x 10 strategy:
Talk to the student about anything she or he wants for 2 minutes a day, 10 school days in a row. Focus not on fixing the kid, but on understanding him or her. Stop worrying about finding the perfect intervention and start listening, start empathizing, start trying to get to know the student beyond just as a problem for you to fix but as a person for you to learn with and from.
Proximity
Walking over and standing next to the kid who is off task is one of the best techniques of getting them back on course. Also, test different seating arrangements. In some cases, it helps to have them right next to you. In others, it helps to sit them in the back so they aren’t distracting the other students. Try both & see which works best.
Incremental Monitoring
Try using a personal chart with smaller time slots. Reward them for successfully staying on task for small periods of time & slowly increase their goals.
5. There are no bad people – just bad choices
Don’t think for a moment that students don’t sense our feelings toward them. You can do build those positive relationships! It may not always be easy, it’s going to be worth it.
When you are feeling desperate, remember that the child is feeling desperate, too. Nobody WANTS to bang their head on a table, throw desks, and be ostracized from a room full of people who think they’re weird. Nobody wants to sit alone because they’re incapable of getting along with their peers for 30 seconds. Being lectured and nagged and shamed and punished and questioned and disciplined over and over again is the last thing anyone wants. If the kid was capable of making choices that resulted in a better life and better school experience, she or he would do it!
But those few minutes when the child is in a stable emotional state, she or he chooses to work, chooses to interact socially with peers, and chooses to be successful is proof that they can do it. When she or he hits a wall or something triggers an issue deep inside, the child isn’t able to be successful any more in that moment. That out-of-control state might be the default, but it’s not what the child really wants. Of course deep down the child would rather fit in and be part of the group and excel in school. And so our job is to help the child get in that mental state more often.
The key to effective behavior management creating a positive and supportive classroom environment where students feel valued, respected, and understood. It’s not easy, but with time, respect, and better strategies for behavior management our classrooms can transform into a nurturing and positive space for everyone.
You might also like: 7 Sanity Saving Behavior Management Strategies
Happy Teaching!
~ Melissa
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